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In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, there is often a premium placed on being loud, extroverted, and constantly seeking attention. However, we often overlook the incredible power of silence and discretion. Whether you are in a crowded room, attending an important meeting, or simply wish to maintain a sense of tranquility within yourself, knowing how to be quiet and discreet can be a valuable skill to possess. This guide will explore various practical strategies and techniques to help you cultivate a quieter presence, enhance your listening skills, and navigate social situations with grace and subtlety. So, if you are ready to tap into the hidden strength of stillness and understatement, let us embark on this journey towards mastering the art of being quiet and discreet.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19,397 times.
There are many good and bad points about being a quiet person. Many people consider reticence/confidentiality to be excessive shyness or even apathy, even though that is often not the case. Being a little more quiet/recognized doesn’t necessarily bring about social change, but rather personal choice. With a little practice and understanding, you can become quiet and reserved and still keep all your friends and be yourself.
Steps
Be quiet and discreet
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/eb/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)
- You don’t necessarily need to find other quiet/secretive friends, but make sure the people around you always understand your quiet/secretive tendencies.
- Find people who understand and accept you for who you are. If you don’t know who they are in your social circle, try talking to the people around you and get to know them.
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 2](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/69/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-2-Version-3.jpg)
- Take time to reflect on your day. If you’re trying to become calmer and more introverted, take some time off to reflect on yourself and your day. [3] XResearch Sources
- Identify what life experiences have been most meaningful to you or have enlightened you, and consider why these experiences have changed who you are and how they have changed you. [4] XResearch Sources
- When you talk to people close to you, ask them for candid feedback on your behavior and beliefs. Let them know that you want to be more aware of yourself and your own way of thinking and acting, and an outsider’s perspective will greatly help you understand yourself better. [5] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/8e/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)
- Think about your childhood. What activities do you like the most? If you’ve ever enjoyed drawing/drawing with your fingers, maybe you should try the arts. If you used to enjoy reading and writing, try taking a writing class. The things that mean the most during your early developmental years may still be stuck somewhere in your mind. [7] XResearch Sources
- If you still can’t find your passion, think about the things in your life that spark your curiosity. What excites you in your daily life? [8] XResearch Sources
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/04/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-4-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-4-Version-3.jpg)
- wearing headphones while walking, on public transport, or while walking around the store [9] XResearch Source
- stay away from people who look upset or upset [10] XResearch Source
- stay away or politely distance yourself from small chats with strangers [11] XResearch Source
Dialogue with others
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 5](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/bb/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)
- Noisy, chaotic spaces are often not conducive to deep dialogue. Ambient noise will often cause you and the other person to speak louder and more directly, which can be intimidating for many people. [13] XResearch Source
- Some people think that uncomfortable warm environments can also affect their deep thinking. [14] XResearch Source
- Know where you feel most comfortable, and try to arrange conversations in similar locations or surroundings as much as possible.
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 6](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/31/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)
- Listen carefully to what others say. [18] XResearch Sources
- Decide when and what to say. Please keep your answers short and simple. [19] XResearch Source
- Think carefully before you answer anything. [20] XResearch Source
- If you need some time to think before you answer, say something like, “Um. I have something to say about this, but give me some time to think.” [21] XResearch Source
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 7](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/75/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-7-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-7-Version-3.jpg)
- The best questions are open-ended questions. Don’t just ask yes/no questions. Instead, listen carefully to what the other person has to say, and from there ask probing questions that show interest in the story and a desire to get to know the person sincerely. [23] XResearch Sources
- Instead of yes/no questions like, “Did you enjoy growing up in Hanoi?” Ask open-ended questions that require discussion, such as, “What was it like to be born and raised in Hanoi? What do you like and dislike most about living here?”
![Image titled Be Very Quiet and Reserved Step 8](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/6/6b/Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-8-Version-3.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Very-Quiet-and-Reserved-Step-8-Version-3.jpg)
Advice
- Always be yourself.
- Find your comfort zone. You’ll probably need a balance between your calmness and your interactions with others, especially when work or school requires you to be obligated to socialize with strangers. Find ways to manage conversations so that you feel comfortable and being yourself.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19,397 times.
There are many good and bad points about being a quiet person. Many people consider reticence/confidentiality to be excessive shyness or even apathy, even though that is often not the case. Being a little more quiet/recognized doesn’t necessarily bring about social change, but rather personal choice. With a little practice and understanding, you can become quiet and reserved and still keep all your friends and be yourself.
In conclusion, mastering the skill of being quiet and discreet can greatly enhance one’s social interactions, professional success, and personal relationships. By implementing the strategies discussed, including mindfulness, active listening, and controlling body language and voice volume, individuals can navigate various situations with poise and tactfulness. Being quiet and discreet allows us to cultivate a sense of self-awareness, empathy, and understanding, leading to deeper connections and a heightened level of respect from others. Moreover, this skill promotes a peaceful and harmonious environment, where confidentiality is valued and conflicts are resolved more amicably. Ultimately, the ability to be quiet and discreet is a valuable asset that can positively impact both our personal and professional lives, enabling us to become more observant, thoughtful, and considerate individuals.
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