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Love is often considered one of the most powerful and indescribable emotions that humans are capable of experiencing. It has the ability to shape our lives, bring immense joy, and create deep connections with others. However, there may be times when we find ourselves in a situation where we need to distance ourselves from that love, extinguishing the embers of affection that burn within us. Whether due to unrequited love, a toxic relationship, or a desire to explore personal growth, learning how to not love someone can be a challenging and complicated process. In this guide, we will delve into this topic, exploring various strategies, insights, and coping mechanisms that can assist in navigating the bumpy road of unloving. While it may seem counterintuitive and perhaps even painful to consciously dampen our feelings, it can ultimately lead to healing, self-discovery, and a path toward a more fulfilling future.
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 36,178 times.
It can be overwhelming to fall in love with someone. Learning how not to fall in love with someone takes patience and persistence, especially when you feel like you can’t control your emotions. Perhaps you are trying to resist the feelings you have for someone or trying to stay away from love in general. You can try avoiding the person you’re attracted to and closing off your feelings for that person so you don’t get overwhelmed by your feelings. You can also focus on your own needs and interests as a way to distance yourself from someone you may have a crush on.
Steps
Avoid the person you are attracted to
![Image titled Tell a Guy You Like Him Step 1Bullet1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/11/Tell-a-Guy-You-Like-Him-Step-1Bullet1.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-a-Guy-You-Like-Him-Step-1Bullet1.jpg)
- For example, you might avoid attending the same meeting or gathering with the other person, especially if you know that they are coming too. You can plan to avoid seeing the person in person so you don’t have to be close to them.
- You may also want to opt out of the person’s social media friends so you won’t be tempted to check out their profile or activity. This way, you won’t get caught up in tracking their activity on Facebook, Instagram or Tumblr.
![Image titled Act Around a Guy You Like Step 3Bullet1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/af/Act-Around-a-Guy-You-Like-Step-3Bullet1.jpg/v4-728px-Act-Around-a-Guy-You-Like-Step-3Bullet1.jpg)
- For example, you can maintain closed body language around the person by crossing your arms over your chest and not making eye contact when you talk to them.
![Image titled Tell a Girl You Love Her when You Are Not Sure She Loves You Back Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/88/Tell-a-Girl-You-Love-Her-when-You-Are-Not-Sure-She-Loves-You-Back-Step-1-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Tell-a-Girl-You-Love-Her-when-You-Are-Not-Sure-She-Loves-You-Back-Step-1-Version-4.jpg)
- For example, you could politely say “No, thank you” and decline the gift they try to give you. Or you can say, “No, I can do it myself!” or “Thanks, but I’ll take care of myself” if they try to help you.
Close your feelings for the other person
![Image titled Lucid Dream Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/d8/Lucid-Dream-Step-1-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Lucid-Dream-Step-1-Version-4.jpg)
- Be honest and think about traits that are quite annoying or will probably lead to trouble for the other person if you two get together. For example, you might write about the person: “too career-focused, quiet and introverted, difficult to talk to in a large group.”
![Sarah Schewitz, PsyD](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0a/Sarah_Schweitz.jpeg/-crop-100-100-100px-Sarah_Schweitz.jpeg)
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Psychologist specializing in love and relationships
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
![Sarah Schewitz, PsyD](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0a/Sarah_Schweitz.jpeg/-crop-100-100-100px-Sarah_Schweitz.jpeg)
Psychologist specializing in love and relationships
Don’t forget the reasons why you need to keep your distance from that person. Love and marriage psychologist, Dr Sarah Schewitz, says, “If you’re trying not to love someone, there must be a reason, so remind yourself regularly of why. For example, if the person is dating someone else, you can tell yourself that it is immoral to date someone who is already married.Do whatever it takes to make you forget that person. by having fun and doing things that make you happy.”
![Image titled Win a Girl Back Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f3/Win-a-Girl-Back-Step-3.jpg/v4-728px-Win-a-Girl-Back-Step-3.jpg)
- For example, you could write: “We don’t get along because that person wants to focus on his career and I prefer to travel” or “We won’t have a good ending because that person wants to be okay.” I intend to stay in one place, but I plan to move often.”
![Image titled Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend Step 4](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/20/Get-a-Girl-to-Be-Your-Girlfriend-Step-4.jpg/v4-728px-Get-a-Girl-to-Be-Your-Girlfriend-Step-4.jpg)
- For example, you could sit down and write down all the good times you two have had as friends. You can then consider whether it’s worth it for you to risk turning a meaningful and fulfilling friendship with the other person into a romance.
Focus on your own needs and interests
![Image titled Believe in Yourself Step 1](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3d/Believe-in-Yourself-Step-1-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Believe-in-Yourself-Step-1-Version-4.jpg)
- For example, perhaps you should devote your energy to a hobby like painting, writing, playing an instrument, or singing. You can also start an activity like a sport or join a school team to fill in the time.
![Image titled Help a Depressed Boyfriend Step 17](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/5d/Help-a-Depressed-Boyfriend-Step-17.jpg/v4-728px-Help-a-Depressed-Boyfriend-Step-17.jpg)
- You may also want to consult a friend or family member about your situation. They will also be able to give you some advice or suggestions on what you should do to avoid falling in love with the person.
- For example, you might say to a friend, “I have feelings for someone but I don’t want to. What must I do now?” Or you could say to a family member, “I think I’m in love with someone but I don’t think that’s a good thing. Do you have any advice for me?”
![Image titled Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend Step 3](https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a8/Get-a-Girl-to-Be-Your-Girlfriend-Step-3.jpg/v4-728px-Get-a-Girl-to-Be-Your-Girlfriend-Step-3.jpg)
- If you decide to talk to the person about how you’re feeling, you should ask the person if you can talk to them in person in private. Then you can tell them, “I think my feelings for you are growing. I’ve tried to deny these feelings but maybe I’d better be honest with you about how I’m feeling.”
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 36,178 times.
It can be overwhelming to fall in love with someone. Learning how not to fall in love with someone takes patience and persistence, especially when you feel like you can’t control your emotions. Perhaps you are trying to resist the feelings you have for someone or trying to stay away from love in general. You can try avoiding the person you’re attracted to and closing off your feelings for that person so you don’t get overwhelmed by your feelings. You can also focus on your own needs and interests as a way to distance yourself from someone you may have a crush on.
In conclusion, learning how to not love someone is a complex and challenging process that requires self-reflection, self-care, and time. It is important to remember that each individual’s journey of moving on will be unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. However, by following the steps outlined in this guide, including setting boundaries, focusing on personal growth, seeking support, and practicing self-compassion, individuals can gradually lessen their attachment and redirected their energy towards more fulfilling aspects of life. It is essential to recognize that healing and letting go take time, and it is okay to experience setbacks or moments of vulnerability along the way. Embracing the pain, acknowledging the emotions, and actively working towards personal well-being will ultimately lead to a healthier and more fulfilling future. Remember, the end of one chapter is the beginning of another, and by allowing yourself to let go of someone who is not meant for you, you open up the possibility of finding the true love and happiness that you deserve.
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